Written by one of my heroes, this is her story of how two people found each other in this vast, beautiful world and bonded through their shared passion for serving others. Her story reminds us here at Brighter Dates that if keep our hearts open to love, despite its tendency to be elusive, it is worth every moment of the search.
Words and images courtesy of Lauren Bailey
When I was 22, I attended the wedding of my internship coordinator Maury-- a wonderful mentor who served his community as a firefighter and a volunteer at the United Nations Association of Columbus. His wedding was the first non-family member’s wedding I had ever attended; it was intimate and small, and I knew no other guests in the room. Without the usual security blanket of cousins and family members to keep me company, I awkwardly sat in the back of the groom’s section thumbing through the program while waiting for the ceremony to commence. The procession-- like any other-- was beautiful, and the service was lovely but as the couple began exchanging vows, I found myself inexplicably captivated. The bride and groom recounted to each other the exact moments in which they had fallen in love and the exact moments in which they knew they wanted to spend their lives together. The moments they shared were not stories of gift giving or flattery; they were simple and selfless acts of kindness.
A few months after Maury’s wedding, I graduated from Ohio State and moved to Honduras to volunteer at Montaña de Luz, a home for children with HIV/AIDS. I had developed a passion for global health as an undergraduate, and I was ready to begin my career. My love for public health dominated my 20s. I moved around to several cities, worked in different countries, and found time to go back to school for my master’s degree. I absolutely loved having a profession that kept me motivated and promoted social justice, but I also had my doubts about attaining a fulfilling personal life. It was difficult to find a partner who shared my lifestyle; I didn't know if I could have both public health and a life partner.
Spencer and I went on our first date one week before I left Washington, DC to begin graduate school in Boston. Spencer had just finished a five-year stint in the Navy and had moved to the District to begin his training as a Foreign Service Officer with the US State Department. I was instantly intrigued-- he was smart, motivated and wanted to serve his country. We spent an inseparable seven days together before I inevitably left DC to spend my summer back home in Ohio before starting my two-year graduate program at the Harvard School of Public Health. We decided to keep in touch and became instantly adept at Skype dating. I knew things were getting serious when Spencer asked to fly to Boston to help move me in to my new apartment at August’s end. I was ecstatic and began the countdown to our reunion.
Romance was not in the cards for us that weekend. A hurricane was scheduled to hit Boston, and Spencer’s three day trip was cut in half. He arrived Friday afternoon and was around long enough to assemble all of my Ikea furniture and assist my roommates, as well. We had no air conditioning in our apartment, and Spencer was feeling ill from a stomach bug he had picked up while studying Spanish in Ecuador the week before. It was a mess-- but despite the less than ideal conditions, I could tell there was nothing else Spencer would rather be doing. That is the exact moment I knew I was in love.
Spencer eventually moved to Venezuela to begin his two year tour with the State Department. The distance was difficult, but we made great efforts to communicate, in some form, every day. I admired Spencer’s commitment to his country. He is a service-oriented person with big goals and an even bigger heart. And Spencer admired my passion for public health, too. We had both spent considerable time living in challenging parts of the world sacrificing time with friends and family to contribute to important causes. We have an undeniable mutual respect for each other; I am Spencer’s biggest fan, and I know he’s mine.
Spencer and I were married in July of 2013 at his parents’ home in Vashon, Washington. Inspired by Maury’s wedding, we wrote our own vows and recounted the exact moments in which we fell in love and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We made promises to each other to travel the world together, make time for humor and fun, and to live a life of service. We understand that challenging times are ahead as we prepare to move to a new country this summer. I face the prospect of unemployment, or we both face re-entering a long-distance relationship. But we have learned a thing or two about selflessness, commitment, and dedication over the years-- and we look forward to the adventures to come.
When I was 22, I attended the wedding of my internship coordinator Maury-- a wonderful mentor who served his community as a firefighter and a volunteer at the United Nations Association of Columbus. His wedding was the first non-family member’s wedding I had ever attended; it was intimate and small, and I knew no other guests in the room. Without the usual security blanket of cousins and family members to keep me company, I awkwardly sat in the back of the groom’s section thumbing through the program while waiting for the ceremony to commence. The procession-- like any other-- was beautiful, and the service was lovely but as the couple began exchanging vows, I found myself inexplicably captivated. The bride and groom recounted to each other the exact moments in which they had fallen in love and the exact moments in which they knew they wanted to spend their lives together. The moments they shared were not stories of gift giving or flattery; they were simple and selfless acts of kindness.
A few months after Maury’s wedding, I graduated from Ohio State and moved to Honduras to volunteer at Montaña de Luz, a home for children with HIV/AIDS. I had developed a passion for global health as an undergraduate, and I was ready to begin my career. My love for public health dominated my 20s. I moved around to several cities, worked in different countries, and found time to go back to school for my master’s degree. I absolutely loved having a profession that kept me motivated and promoted social justice, but I also had my doubts about attaining a fulfilling personal life. It was difficult to find a partner who shared my lifestyle; I didn't know if I could have both public health and a life partner.
Spencer and I went on our first date one week before I left Washington, DC to begin graduate school in Boston. Spencer had just finished a five-year stint in the Navy and had moved to the District to begin his training as a Foreign Service Officer with the US State Department. I was instantly intrigued-- he was smart, motivated and wanted to serve his country. We spent an inseparable seven days together before I inevitably left DC to spend my summer back home in Ohio before starting my two-year graduate program at the Harvard School of Public Health. We decided to keep in touch and became instantly adept at Skype dating. I knew things were getting serious when Spencer asked to fly to Boston to help move me in to my new apartment at August’s end. I was ecstatic and began the countdown to our reunion.
Romance was not in the cards for us that weekend. A hurricane was scheduled to hit Boston, and Spencer’s three day trip was cut in half. He arrived Friday afternoon and was around long enough to assemble all of my Ikea furniture and assist my roommates, as well. We had no air conditioning in our apartment, and Spencer was feeling ill from a stomach bug he had picked up while studying Spanish in Ecuador the week before. It was a mess-- but despite the less than ideal conditions, I could tell there was nothing else Spencer would rather be doing. That is the exact moment I knew I was in love.
Spencer eventually moved to Venezuela to begin his two year tour with the State Department. The distance was difficult, but we made great efforts to communicate, in some form, every day. I admired Spencer’s commitment to his country. He is a service-oriented person with big goals and an even bigger heart. And Spencer admired my passion for public health, too. We had both spent considerable time living in challenging parts of the world sacrificing time with friends and family to contribute to important causes. We have an undeniable mutual respect for each other; I am Spencer’s biggest fan, and I know he’s mine.
Spencer and I were married in July of 2013 at his parents’ home in Vashon, Washington. Inspired by Maury’s wedding, we wrote our own vows and recounted the exact moments in which we fell in love and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We made promises to each other to travel the world together, make time for humor and fun, and to live a life of service. We understand that challenging times are ahead as we prepare to move to a new country this summer. I face the prospect of unemployment, or we both face re-entering a long-distance relationship. But we have learned a thing or two about selflessness, commitment, and dedication over the years-- and we look forward to the adventures to come.